Age is merely a number - it's the mileage that'll do you in.
Ouch. That ranks up there with what my dad told me before I joined the 82nd Airborne: no one ever died jumping out of a perfectly good plane - it's that sudden stop at the bottom that'll get you every time.
Now, I intend to use some terms for one of the two genders which may not sit too well... with English ladies of the 19th century - so, in the immortal and sage words of wisdom from Drill Sergeant Bryant (1991, Fort Monmouth, NJ), "I am an equal opportunity offender - that way I can't play favorites."
More to the point - off the rabbit trail...
So, what is it about guys and gals celebrating birthdays in "middle age" - children, note - I didn't say the "Middle Ages" - that instinctively drives either gender to keep (or not to keep) them in two totally different ways? Hmm.
Take the women, for instance. (No, seriously, don't take all the women - well, okay, maybe take one or two I work with, but that's all.)...
For being approximately a third of the way through my life (according to Genesis 6:3) I've seen the women-folk take birthdays, in stride, one of three ways:
1) 39 and Holding - these are the chicks that don't look in mirrors as the ominous day approaches; who start dressing like they're still younger than they are - with the stereotypical age-appropriate behaviors that are bound to follow; and, men, forget reminding your "sweetie" of what she's doing - uh-uh, big "no-no" - 'cause she'll remind you of everything YOU'VE ever done and it will pale in comparison, my friend, and you will be crying (on the inside, of course).
2) The (cough-cough) Anniversary of My 18th Birthday - now guys, if your babe tells you not to put another candle on the cake... and you DO anyways, because... hey, you're a man, it's what you do... then, "man up" to the cold, lonely couch later on that night; oh, and although she won't divulge her true age to her friends and acquaintances - don't take that as an invitation for YOU to do so - if you're smart, you won't (unless you have a death-wish)!
3) Grace, Grace, God's Grace - I heard one elderly lady state something along the lines of "...one more birthday is another step closer to Glory." Admirable to have your eternal outlook tempered in that way. I've actually met a few female mid-lifers quite comfortable in their age/stage of life - even with all the aches and pains associated with this fallen world. These are the gals you wanna be around when YOU think you got it bad - if not for the outright humor, for the encouragement it provides. "Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life." (Pro.16.31.esv)
Now, with that being shared and said about the fairer sex - it's not to say that us men deal with it any better - we just do so "differently". So have at, ladies... after all, we got your number. MMLIA
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
Hey, I'm Staring at You!
"Look both ways before crossing the street!" our mothers would lament - knowing that we probably would, unless the psychotic inmate the local police just announced over the radio was careening down - of all streets in the city - YOURS.
Mothers meant well, er... still mean well, actually. But looking at this, I wonder...
Do we prepare for the most remote possibility or do we carry-on with our lives like nothing will ever happen to us?
I guess there's a fine line between being self-absorbed and narcissistic. Actually, no - there's no line... there's just me, and I'm so beautiful, I'm so in love with myself, I... wanna throw up now.
Some of my friends pick on me that I must have a list of pet peeves a mile long and three fathoms high (Google it, I'm not explaining that.).
If (and may I preface it, again, with "if") I had such a list... it would definitely include people so self-absorbed, either behind the wheel of an automobile or merely as a pedestrian, that they refuse to make eye contact with those who could do them serious harm.
And, I'm not talking city streets here, people. Oh no, no, no... the majority of these offenders do so in the private property of parking lots. Yes sir, I said it - parking lots!
Most parking lots don't have painted lanes down the aisles. Most parking lots don't have stop signs, speed bumps, stop lines or shoulders. Most parking lots are not even adequately lit (at night, although I've seen some with lights still on at 10:00 a.m. - somebody got fired, I'm sure).
But the most important thing these parking lots DON'T have is... a law enforcement agency's jurisdiction as it pertains to "rules of the road". You know, those nasty little ordinances and statutes that enable "Andy" and "Barney" to write you a ticket?
Yep, that's the keystone of it all. Average ordinary law-abiding citizens who'd ordinarily follow (said) rules of the road turn into "Mister" and "Misses Daydreamer" on a grocery store's asphalt lawn.
You'd figure the drivers in South Carolina would like to pay less for car insurance than most of us do - go figure. Any-who, based on my observations, here are the most dangerous habits these "reality-challenged" individuals partake in:
1) Not making eye contact - does it cause cancer? do you have laser beams that'll cut someone down after two seconds?
2) Head looking one way, car (or feet) going another - multi-taskers, pay special heed here - just because you CAN do two or more things at one time doesn't mean you can do them WELL
3) Talking to others not with you (or in your car) - e.g. on the cell phone - the number one thing my lawyer's gonna subpoena will be your cell phone records, and yes, there are three lawyers in my family... pick one.
4) Not watching their children (walking), or watching their children (while driving) - and this may be a separate rant, er... blog for another time, but, if you squirted the squirts out, they're yours, you watch 'em when you're walking and strap 'em down with duct tape while you're driving. Do I need to call DSS?
Anyway, there's both barrels... time to buy more targets and reload.
Mothers meant well, er... still mean well, actually. But looking at this, I wonder...
Do we prepare for the most remote possibility or do we carry-on with our lives like nothing will ever happen to us?
I guess there's a fine line between being self-absorbed and narcissistic. Actually, no - there's no line... there's just me, and I'm so beautiful, I'm so in love with myself, I... wanna throw up now.
Some of my friends pick on me that I must have a list of pet peeves a mile long and three fathoms high (Google it, I'm not explaining that.).
If (and may I preface it, again, with "if") I had such a list... it would definitely include people so self-absorbed, either behind the wheel of an automobile or merely as a pedestrian, that they refuse to make eye contact with those who could do them serious harm.
And, I'm not talking city streets here, people. Oh no, no, no... the majority of these offenders do so in the private property of parking lots. Yes sir, I said it - parking lots!
Most parking lots don't have painted lanes down the aisles. Most parking lots don't have stop signs, speed bumps, stop lines or shoulders. Most parking lots are not even adequately lit (at night, although I've seen some with lights still on at 10:00 a.m. - somebody got fired, I'm sure).
But the most important thing these parking lots DON'T have is... a law enforcement agency's jurisdiction as it pertains to "rules of the road". You know, those nasty little ordinances and statutes that enable "Andy" and "Barney" to write you a ticket?
Yep, that's the keystone of it all. Average ordinary law-abiding citizens who'd ordinarily follow (said) rules of the road turn into "Mister" and "Misses Daydreamer" on a grocery store's asphalt lawn.
You'd figure the drivers in South Carolina would like to pay less for car insurance than most of us do - go figure. Any-who, based on my observations, here are the most dangerous habits these "reality-challenged" individuals partake in:
1) Not making eye contact - does it cause cancer? do you have laser beams that'll cut someone down after two seconds?
2) Head looking one way, car (or feet) going another - multi-taskers, pay special heed here - just because you CAN do two or more things at one time doesn't mean you can do them WELL
3) Talking to others not with you (or in your car) - e.g. on the cell phone - the number one thing my lawyer's gonna subpoena will be your cell phone records, and yes, there are three lawyers in my family... pick one.
4) Not watching their children (walking), or watching their children (while driving) - and this may be a separate rant, er... blog for another time, but, if you squirted the squirts out, they're yours, you watch 'em when you're walking and strap 'em down with duct tape while you're driving. Do I need to call DSS?
Anyway, there's both barrels... time to buy more targets and reload.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Hello? Customer No-Service?
Go stand in line just about anywhere and you've automatically subjected yourself to the "customer service experience". Sounds like something you'd avoid, right?
No? Well, maybe you're on drugs. Just because a tangible line is not what you're accustomed to doesn't mean the masses, waiting to speak with a customer service representative, cannot relate. Unfortunately, it seems, to be just the ticket for what sets us "over the top".
Being queued up like some cattle about to be branded or butchered when all you're doing is trying to accomplish something in your day is a bit dehumanizing.
It can be likened unto a good starting argument to sign-off on the idea of purgatory.
None the less, we all wind up waiting on someone for something, don't we?
I am at the age-and-stage in my life that I understand the demographic (now) rendering what I like to call "customer no-service". After all, I'd like to think I did a semi-decent job of raising two non-conformists from that generation.
It's not "customer no-service" from the standpoint of them not wanting to meet our desires for that particular moment, in as much as it is more so the uncanny ability of those in these positions to go to great lengths to either "not deliver" or explain why we cannot have what we ask for.
Case and point... Verizon
I wanted to simply figure out what to do to replace a cell phone that recently broke. This is not the entire transcript, just highlights:
E: Hello. Thank you for visiting Verizon Chat services. My name is E. How may I assist you today? I'd be happy to assist you.
You: My daughter's phone on my plan is inoperable. That phone's eligible for upgrade in November. If I replace it now, does a new 2 year agreement start?
E.: No if you purchase a phone without an upgrade it will charge you full retail price for the phone.
Alright, pausing here... she is not delivering on my question - read on:
You: If I understand you correctly... If I have to purchase a replacement Verizon phone for her line on my plan, I can either NOT choose the upgrade and pay full retail price OR choose to upgrade and pay the price with 2-year contract with that new 2-year contract starting now instead of November? Correct?
E: You can choose the upgrade but it will have you pay full retail price. You can add a line and then get 2 year contract and the phone at a discount price.
Again, she's not processing the question, just shy of trying to explain why I cannot have what I'm asking for - read on:
You: Let me see if I can simplify my question...
You: ...if I have a family plan with four lines
You: ...and one of those four phones malfunctioned(she interrupts)
E: If you have insurance on the phone you can turn it in and get a new phone.
(I resume phrasing the question)
You: ...but that phone is not eligible for a discount before November
You: and I do not have insurance on that phone.
Ooo, pet peeve of mine - let me chat, talk, communicate, grrr - read on:
You: I have to pay full retail price for another phone unless I add ANOTHER line to my four-person, four-phone plan?
E: If I may ask are any of the other phones eligible for an upgrade at this time?
E: If you transfer upgrades the person that you are taking the upgrade from can get the upgrade date that is in November.
You: Are you saying that if there is one phone on my plan that is eligible for a discount to upgrade the device... they can swap or switch with the phone that is eligible in November?
E: No. If you would like I can walk you through on where to find out if there is one available.
Excuse me? Beginning to think this one's suffering from a split personality - read on:
You: I know that there in fact is one that is eligible. The problem is that it is not the phone which malfunctioned. If I can switch (or swap) one phone's eligibility for another, would you please tell me yes or no?
E: Yes. If you would please log in as the account owner and I will walk you through on how to swap it.
Okay - got her, she said "Yes"; but at this point (nearing the half hour mark) I'm not totally comfortable with trusting her with even simple math at this point - read on:
You: I think I will take the phone to a Verizon store - and do everything there, as she has much data on the phone which will need to be transferred anyway.
E: I understand.
So, I tried to "be nice" and make her day "easier" (poor thing) and she took the bait.
~RNS
No? Well, maybe you're on drugs. Just because a tangible line is not what you're accustomed to doesn't mean the masses, waiting to speak with a customer service representative, cannot relate. Unfortunately, it seems, to be just the ticket for what sets us "over the top".
Being queued up like some cattle about to be branded or butchered when all you're doing is trying to accomplish something in your day is a bit dehumanizing.
It can be likened unto a good starting argument to sign-off on the idea of purgatory.
None the less, we all wind up waiting on someone for something, don't we?
I am at the age-and-stage in my life that I understand the demographic (now) rendering what I like to call "customer no-service". After all, I'd like to think I did a semi-decent job of raising two non-conformists from that generation.
It's not "customer no-service" from the standpoint of them not wanting to meet our desires for that particular moment, in as much as it is more so the uncanny ability of those in these positions to go to great lengths to either "not deliver" or explain why we cannot have what we ask for.
Case and point... Verizon
I wanted to simply figure out what to do to replace a cell phone that recently broke. This is not the entire transcript, just highlights:
E: Hello. Thank you for visiting Verizon Chat services. My name is E. How may I assist you today? I'd be happy to assist you.
You: My daughter's phone on my plan is inoperable. That phone's eligible for upgrade in November. If I replace it now, does a new 2 year agreement start?
E.: No if you purchase a phone without an upgrade it will charge you full retail price for the phone.
Alright, pausing here... she is not delivering on my question - read on:
You: If I understand you correctly... If I have to purchase a replacement Verizon phone for her line on my plan, I can either NOT choose the upgrade and pay full retail price OR choose to upgrade and pay the price with 2-year contract with that new 2-year contract starting now instead of November? Correct?
E: You can choose the upgrade but it will have you pay full retail price. You can add a line and then get 2 year contract and the phone at a discount price.
Again, she's not processing the question, just shy of trying to explain why I cannot have what I'm asking for - read on:
You: Let me see if I can simplify my question...
You: ...if I have a family plan with four lines
You: ...and one of those four phones malfunctioned(she interrupts)
E: If you have insurance on the phone you can turn it in and get a new phone.
(I resume phrasing the question)
You: ...but that phone is not eligible for a discount before November
You: and I do not have insurance on that phone.
Ooo, pet peeve of mine - let me chat, talk, communicate, grrr - read on:
You: I have to pay full retail price for another phone unless I add ANOTHER line to my four-person, four-phone plan?
E: If I may ask are any of the other phones eligible for an upgrade at this time?
E: If you transfer upgrades the person that you are taking the upgrade from can get the upgrade date that is in November.
You: Are you saying that if there is one phone on my plan that is eligible for a discount to upgrade the device... they can swap or switch with the phone that is eligible in November?
E: No. If you would like I can walk you through on where to find out if there is one available.
Excuse me? Beginning to think this one's suffering from a split personality - read on:
You: I know that there in fact is one that is eligible. The problem is that it is not the phone which malfunctioned. If I can switch (or swap) one phone's eligibility for another, would you please tell me yes or no?
E: Yes. If you would please log in as the account owner and I will walk you through on how to swap it.
Okay - got her, she said "Yes"; but at this point (nearing the half hour mark) I'm not totally comfortable with trusting her with even simple math at this point - read on:
You: I think I will take the phone to a Verizon store - and do everything there, as she has much data on the phone which will need to be transferred anyway.
E: I understand.
So, I tried to "be nice" and make her day "easier" (poor thing) and she took the bait.
~RNS
Thursday, June 21, 2012
What Started It All
Is my life "average"?
Well, I was thinking... if I was a radioactive isotope, I could say "My Half-Life is Average"; but, since I'm many "stones" and many "strands of wisdom" past youth and inexperience, perhaps it should be said that "My Mid-Life Is Average"?
My Axioms
1) I proceeded to tell my youngest daughter, "Let me paint you a picture...", to which she replied, "no, no, no Dad, no painting pictures in this part of the house." - My Mid-Life is Average
2) My oldest daughter (yet again) rolled her eyes at me and said, "Dad, that's not funny." She was further put-out at my less-than-stellar response of, "Maybe over there, but from where I'm standing - it's hilarious." - My Mid-Life is Average
3) The last time we walked into a local restaurant where we had gotten to be known - not only by face, but by what we had previously ordered - I requested a different menu item just so I could "win". - My Mid-Life is Average
4) Over the course of the last three weeks, instead of flicking my high-beams at on-coming vehicles who had theirs on, I chose (instead) to blow the horn and swerve a little... wife knew better than to comment about how weak that was. ` My Mid-Life is Average
5) Given how crafty telemarketers are getting... I assign their numbers to "Satan". Sunday, during church, Pastor heard my phone ring at 11:53 p.m.. Mortified, I checked it - a telemarketer. Pastor quickly commented in the middle of his sermon, "You better get that, that might be GOD calling... oh, wait a minute, He don't have your number." Come to find out he was more right than he thought - My Mid-Life is Average
6) Not to say that my time awake is any less busy than it was the same time last year; but, I have since started getting a lot more accomplished by working on all sorts of problems/solutions in-between my dreams, while asleep of course. - My Mid-Life is Average
~RNS, originally posted Monday, January 18, 2010 at 7:41pm
Well, I was thinking... if I was a radioactive isotope, I could say "My Half-Life is Average"; but, since I'm many "stones" and many "strands of wisdom" past youth and inexperience, perhaps it should be said that "My Mid-Life Is Average"?
My Axioms
1) I proceeded to tell my youngest daughter, "Let me paint you a picture...", to which she replied, "no, no, no Dad, no painting pictures in this part of the house." - My Mid-Life is Average
2) My oldest daughter (yet again) rolled her eyes at me and said, "Dad, that's not funny." She was further put-out at my less-than-stellar response of, "Maybe over there, but from where I'm standing - it's hilarious." - My Mid-Life is Average
3) The last time we walked into a local restaurant where we had gotten to be known - not only by face, but by what we had previously ordered - I requested a different menu item just so I could "win". - My Mid-Life is Average
4) Over the course of the last three weeks, instead of flicking my high-beams at on-coming vehicles who had theirs on, I chose (instead) to blow the horn and swerve a little... wife knew better than to comment about how weak that was. ` My Mid-Life is Average
5) Given how crafty telemarketers are getting... I assign their numbers to "Satan". Sunday, during church, Pastor heard my phone ring at 11:53 p.m.. Mortified, I checked it - a telemarketer. Pastor quickly commented in the middle of his sermon, "You better get that, that might be GOD calling... oh, wait a minute, He don't have your number." Come to find out he was more right than he thought - My Mid-Life is Average
6) Not to say that my time awake is any less busy than it was the same time last year; but, I have since started getting a lot more accomplished by working on all sorts of problems/solutions in-between my dreams, while asleep of course. - My Mid-Life is Average
~RNS, originally posted Monday, January 18, 2010 at 7:41pm
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Dinosaurs That Didn't Make the Cut
Aedidiosaurus... excited predator which eventually starved to death due to its inability to focus on one prey at a time; possessing the attention span of a prehistoric firefly (fire-breathing insects with four foot wingspans, a distant cousin)
Agoraphobiadon... timid, introverted dinosaur quickly died off, as scores of hatch-lings died of shock and sensory overload after leaving the safety of its nest.
Brachsosaurus... one of two dinosaurs whose sweet chocolaty flesh was highly sought after by carnivores - the other being the Samplerosaurus; habitat: Candy Mountain
Itchyosaurus... omnivore; earliest of all extinct dinosaurs; purported to pretend to have a rash to scare off predators... didn't work against the infamous Schollsasorus Rex, M.D.
Megaballosaurus... opportunistic eater; this dinosaur fought with such tenacity that it's opponent had odds of winning 1 out of 175,230,313
Moronosaurus... feebly minded carnivore whose only documented fossilized remains included eight white egg-shaped smooth stones in a bed of petrified straw
Nomnomadon... zombie dinosaur (if I have to explain it, you're too old)
Stegoboreus... terrible lizard whose vocal patterns incite sleep, zoning and coma before sucumbing and being eaten alive, sort of
Triseveraltops... vain and shallow herbivore which spent much of it's time grooming itself near reflecting pools and picking flowers for its horns than eating... and subsequently died off to fit a pair of skinny jeans
~RNS, yeah I had some time to kill (once)
Agoraphobiadon... timid, introverted dinosaur quickly died off, as scores of hatch-lings died of shock and sensory overload after leaving the safety of its nest.
Brachsosaurus... one of two dinosaurs whose sweet chocolaty flesh was highly sought after by carnivores - the other being the Samplerosaurus; habitat: Candy Mountain
Itchyosaurus... omnivore; earliest of all extinct dinosaurs; purported to pretend to have a rash to scare off predators... didn't work against the infamous Schollsasorus Rex, M.D.
Megaballosaurus... opportunistic eater; this dinosaur fought with such tenacity that it's opponent had odds of winning 1 out of 175,230,313
Moronosaurus... feebly minded carnivore whose only documented fossilized remains included eight white egg-shaped smooth stones in a bed of petrified straw
Nomnomadon... zombie dinosaur (if I have to explain it, you're too old)
Stegoboreus... terrible lizard whose vocal patterns incite sleep, zoning and coma before sucumbing and being eaten alive, sort of
Triseveraltops... vain and shallow herbivore which spent much of it's time grooming itself near reflecting pools and picking flowers for its horns than eating... and subsequently died off to fit a pair of skinny jeans
~RNS, yeah I had some time to kill (once)
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Bury Me With Soldiers
I've had a lot of roles in life
I've met a lot of men
I've done some things
(I'd like to think)
I'd never do again
And though I'm young
I'm old enough to know
Someday I'll die
And though I'm sure of the hope I know
Beside whom would I lie?
I know it doesn't matter much
Still, if I had my choice
I'd want a spot near soldiers
When (at last) death stills my voice
And I don't want lengthy eulogies
Or lectures from 'the wise' -
I'll gladly lay alongside those
Who faced the guns and died
See, the Joes I knew were typical...
They didn't thirst for war
They served because their fathers had,
As their father's had before
Yeah, they killed, they cursed and cried
(Lord knows they were easy to deride)
But bury me with such as these
Throughout the countryside
It's strange when you reckon it -
How we all just got along
We came from different worlds
To serve in one with battle song
And we didn't even like each other
And with that, they'd all agree
Yet I would give my life for them
As some I knew did for me
So, bury me with soldiers
Though, at times, maligned they be
Yes, bury me with soldiers
For I miss their company
So prepare to see more soldiers, friends
Marching to and from our wars
Serving, fighting and finally reporting
To the Commander, Christ, our Lord
~RNS, revised 2003, 2010 and 2012 (original author unknown)
I've met a lot of men
I've done some things
(I'd like to think)
I'd never do again
And though I'm young
I'm old enough to know
Someday I'll die
And though I'm sure of the hope I know
Beside whom would I lie?
I know it doesn't matter much
Still, if I had my choice
I'd want a spot near soldiers
When (at last) death stills my voice
And I don't want lengthy eulogies
Or lectures from 'the wise' -
I'll gladly lay alongside those
Who faced the guns and died
See, the Joes I knew were typical...
They didn't thirst for war
They served because their fathers had,
As their father's had before
Yeah, they killed, they cursed and cried
(Lord knows they were easy to deride)
But bury me with such as these
Throughout the countryside
It's strange when you reckon it -
How we all just got along
We came from different worlds
To serve in one with battle song
And we didn't even like each other
And with that, they'd all agree
Yet I would give my life for them
As some I knew did for me
So, bury me with soldiers
Though, at times, maligned they be
Yes, bury me with soldiers
For I miss their company
So prepare to see more soldiers, friends
Marching to and from our wars
Serving, fighting and finally reporting
To the Commander, Christ, our Lord
~RNS, revised 2003, 2010 and 2012 (original author unknown)
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Don't Try This at Home Or On the Sidewalk
If you're like me - perish the thought - then, perhaps, you've caught yourself...
...wondering why people who spend over $20,000 for a car can't afford a turn signal.
...wishing you weren't the only one who (almost) does damage to their vehicle just to get out of the way of the ambulance... and all the other people who could care less... until they are the ones in the back of it, on life-support.
...rolling your windows up when the 'hero' in the 'thump, thump' machine in the next lane pulls up next to you... praying he'll get the hint... but, it usually has the opposite affect.
...turning the radio off/down when you're lost... hoping that you'll 'hear' your way in the right direction.
...keeping proper distance between you and the vehicle ahead of you... but some people treat it like an invitation from you and half of the county to see how many cars can pull in front of you before you turn off this road, onto another.
...wishing that truckers would not presume to play 'chicken' with your graces, as they see you coming and think nothing of going slower than my mother in turning around or pulling out onto a major thoroughfare.
...not believing how many people, since the federal election, feel freer to give you the middle finger or honk at you... when you don't drive at or 10 miles above the speed limit, while in the right lane (note: did not say LEFT).
...feeling confused as to why people approaching you - at night - leave their high-beams on, even after you flick yours three times - that is, until you blow your horn and start weaving in and out of your lane
...not that I have tried such things... with my wife in the car.
...wondering why people who spend over $20,000 for a car can't afford a turn signal.
...wishing you weren't the only one who (almost) does damage to their vehicle just to get out of the way of the ambulance... and all the other people who could care less... until they are the ones in the back of it, on life-support.
...rolling your windows up when the 'hero' in the 'thump, thump' machine in the next lane pulls up next to you... praying he'll get the hint... but, it usually has the opposite affect.
...turning the radio off/down when you're lost... hoping that you'll 'hear' your way in the right direction.
...keeping proper distance between you and the vehicle ahead of you... but some people treat it like an invitation from you and half of the county to see how many cars can pull in front of you before you turn off this road, onto another.
...wishing that truckers would not presume to play 'chicken' with your graces, as they see you coming and think nothing of going slower than my mother in turning around or pulling out onto a major thoroughfare.
...not believing how many people, since the federal election, feel freer to give you the middle finger or honk at you... when you don't drive at or 10 miles above the speed limit, while in the right lane (note: did not say LEFT).
...feeling confused as to why people approaching you - at night - leave their high-beams on, even after you flick yours three times - that is, until you blow your horn and start weaving in and out of your lane
...not that I have tried such things... with my wife in the car.
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