Hey, I'm Staring at You!

"Look both ways before crossing the street!" our mothers would lament - knowing that we probably would, unless the psychotic inmate the local police just announced over the radio was careening down - of all streets in the city - YOURS.

Mothers meant well, er... still mean well, actually. But looking at this, I wonder...

Do we prepare for the most remote possibility or do we carry-on with our lives like nothing will ever happen to us?

I guess there's a fine line between being self-absorbed and narcissistic. Actually, no - there's no line... there's just me, and I'm so beautiful, I'm so in love with myself, I... wanna throw up now.

Some of my friends pick on me that I must have a list of pet peeves a mile long and three fathoms high (Google it, I'm not explaining that.).

If (and may I preface it, again, with "if") I had such a list... it would definitely include people so self-absorbed, either behind the wheel of an automobile or merely as a pedestrian, that they refuse to make eye contact with those who could do them serious harm.

And, I'm not talking city streets here, people. Oh no, no, no... the majority of these offenders do so in the private property of parking lots. Yes sir, I said it - parking lots!

Most parking lots don't have painted lanes down the aisles. Most parking lots don't have stop signs, speed bumps, stop lines or shoulders. Most parking lots are not even adequately lit (at night, although I've seen some with lights still on at 10:00 a.m. - somebody got fired, I'm sure).

But the most important thing these parking lots DON'T have is... a law enforcement agency's jurisdiction as it pertains to "rules of the road". You know, those nasty little ordinances and statutes that enable "Andy" and "Barney" to write you a ticket?

Yep, that's the keystone of it all. Average ordinary law-abiding citizens who'd ordinarily follow (said) rules of the road turn into "Mister" and "Misses Daydreamer" on a grocery store's asphalt lawn.

You'd figure the drivers in South Carolina would like to pay less for car insurance than most of us do - go figure. Any-who, based on my observations, here are the most dangerous habits these "reality-challenged" individuals partake in:

1) Not making eye contact - does it cause cancer? do you have laser beams that'll cut someone down after two seconds?

2) Head looking one way, car (or feet) going another - multi-taskers, pay special heed here - just because you CAN do two or more things at one time doesn't mean you can do them WELL

3) Talking to others not with you (or in your car) - e.g. on the cell phone - the number one thing my lawyer's gonna subpoena will be your cell phone records, and yes, there are three lawyers in my family... pick one.

4) Not watching their children (walking), or watching their children (while driving) - and this may be a separate rant, er... blog for another time, but, if you squirted the squirts out, they're yours, you watch 'em when you're walking and strap 'em down with duct tape while you're driving. Do I need to call DSS?

Anyway, there's both barrels... time to buy more targets and reload.