Had to pick up some stuff from the Food Kitty in the sprawling metropolis that is "Lugoff" this afternoon and got an idea... I immediately repented and asked for forgiveness. I experienced a righteous indignation over a bumper sticker of all things. Really.
We've seen them, sported them and even find ourselves laughing and/or grinning at them... bumper stickers. A plethora of categories exist: political, sarcasm (a personal fave), eduction (inclusive of the stomach-churning, "My Kid..." series) and religious. Specifically, I want to broker the idea that what we slap on our can may tell more about us than we'd really care - both in-and-out of the church body.
Yes, I believe bumper stickers can define our theology - genuine or corrupt - and either make-or-break whatever indelible mark we wish to leave on this broken Earth. T-shirts can too, but that's for another day's emotional eruption (LOL)!
More to the point... like the top of my poodle's head.
"After the Rapture You Can Have This Car" - Sometime in the not-to-distant future... "Okay, so I'm minding my own business, driving down the road and I see this crazy Christian's car fly out-of-control, up an embankment at 75 mph - concerned, I screech to a halt, hop out of my own car, go running up to the driver's side door and I happen to notice THIS bumper sticker? Sorry, I don't get it... and, I don't want the car now. I mean, really?" Better: "If This Car Is Seen Driving Itself and Crashes, It's Too Late for You."
"God is My Co-Pilot" - Okay, okay, I know... Brad Stine had A LOT of fun with this one on a video lately. What is it in our arrogance that we think "we got this". Really? Pardon me while I fan the air for laughing so hard. Let's improve on this by saying, "God Is My Navigator - It's Up To Me To Trust the Directions".
"Have a God Day" - Not only could this be considered ubiquitous, all across the spectrum of religions... it doesn't definitively scream "Christian". How about: "May God Show You the Day You Were Suppose to Have" (Hope they don't think you're a fortune-teller, right?)
"Honk If You Love Jesus" - in some South Carolina municipalities, you could actually get a $250 ticket for doing this - just saying. Presenting decent driving behaviors for Christ could (possibly) go further to maintaining (or restoring?) a walk with Him in the first place, hmm? A counter-proposal, if you will: "If You Love Jesus, Drive Like He Would"
"Jesus On Board" - theologically, that's difficult to prove from outside the vehicle, heart and mind of the person driving like they got their license yesterday. "Jesus on board, huh? Then why are you speeding? Why did you just roll right through that stop sign when you were behind that white utility truck?" See what I mean? How about: "Holy Spirit On Board - Better Hope I'm Listening"
"Life Is Short, Pray Hard" - is it just me, or could this possibly be shouting, "Eat, drink, be merry - for tomorrow you will die." People of all faiths "pray" - this is no more a "Christian" bumper sticker than naming your kid "Christian" and expecting he'll turn out okay. An improvement would be: "Life Is Short, Be Careful Who You Pray To"
"Prayer - All the Cool Kids Are Doing It" - Mercy, he's on a prayer rant! Nope, just how the words came down on this digital drawing board. You could insert almost any word in lieu of "Prayer" and sell the sticker to almost anyone... Insubordination, Freebasing, Random Acts of Violence (brainstorming, sorry). How about adding a little mystique to this, eh? How about: "Prayer - Cool or Not, Kids Are Doing It"
"Protected By Angels" - I see a lot of polytheistic, well-intentioned Americans with this one on their tails; but, the error here is that Lucifer was an angel, those thrown out of Heaven with him were angels, and all those who were banished to Earth are known as fallen angels. Better if we said: "Entertaining Angels Unaware" or even "LORD, Send Your Angels Before I Need Them"
"Proud To Be A Christian" - Pride and Arrogance in a Christian? May it never be. It sounds like a throw-back to the days of the Sadducees and Pharisees. Perhaps to say "Unworthy To Be A Christian" or "Humbled To Be Called Christ-Like" would be more God-honoring?
"Relax, God is in Control (Proverbs 3:5)" - Let's not work cause God is gonna take care of us, right? "Come to Christ and life's good - kick back, take your shoes off and knock it neutral." Ah... nah. Let's be blunt, if anything, life following Christ is HARDER than anything else we've EVER done. If we're going to be crystal clear with the commuting public, we'd say, "God Is Still In Control, Buckle Up!" or "Christians Aren't Called To Relax, They're Called To Service"
Well, there's my cheesy chunk of change on the matter, and a lot off my gray matter to boot! So, after giving both proverbial barrels, momentarily glowing and steaming of burnt powder... it's time to wind down with some mental CLP and light maintenance on the carpal tunnel. Till we enjoin brain cells once again, MMLIA
We've seen them, sported them and even find ourselves laughing and/or grinning at them... bumper stickers. A plethora of categories exist: political, sarcasm (a personal fave), eduction (inclusive of the stomach-churning, "My Kid..." series) and religious. Specifically, I want to broker the idea that what we slap on our can may tell more about us than we'd really care - both in-and-out of the church body.
Yes, I believe bumper stickers can define our theology - genuine or corrupt - and either make-or-break whatever indelible mark we wish to leave on this broken Earth. T-shirts can too, but that's for another day's emotional eruption (LOL)!
More to the point... like the top of my poodle's head.
"After the Rapture You Can Have This Car" - Sometime in the not-to-distant future... "Okay, so I'm minding my own business, driving down the road and I see this crazy Christian's car fly out-of-control, up an embankment at 75 mph - concerned, I screech to a halt, hop out of my own car, go running up to the driver's side door and I happen to notice THIS bumper sticker? Sorry, I don't get it... and, I don't want the car now. I mean, really?" Better: "If This Car Is Seen Driving Itself and Crashes, It's Too Late for You."
"God is My Co-Pilot" - Okay, okay, I know... Brad Stine had A LOT of fun with this one on a video lately. What is it in our arrogance that we think "we got this". Really? Pardon me while I fan the air for laughing so hard. Let's improve on this by saying, "God Is My Navigator - It's Up To Me To Trust the Directions".
"Have a God Day" - Not only could this be considered ubiquitous, all across the spectrum of religions... it doesn't definitively scream "Christian". How about: "May God Show You the Day You Were Suppose to Have" (Hope they don't think you're a fortune-teller, right?)
"Honk If You Love Jesus" - in some South Carolina municipalities, you could actually get a $250 ticket for doing this - just saying. Presenting decent driving behaviors for Christ could (possibly) go further to maintaining (or restoring?) a walk with Him in the first place, hmm? A counter-proposal, if you will: "If You Love Jesus, Drive Like He Would"
"Jesus On Board" - theologically, that's difficult to prove from outside the vehicle, heart and mind of the person driving like they got their license yesterday. "Jesus on board, huh? Then why are you speeding? Why did you just roll right through that stop sign when you were behind that white utility truck?" See what I mean? How about: "Holy Spirit On Board - Better Hope I'm Listening"
"Life Is Short, Pray Hard" - is it just me, or could this possibly be shouting, "Eat, drink, be merry - for tomorrow you will die." People of all faiths "pray" - this is no more a "Christian" bumper sticker than naming your kid "Christian" and expecting he'll turn out okay. An improvement would be: "Life Is Short, Be Careful Who You Pray To"
"Prayer - All the Cool Kids Are Doing It" - Mercy, he's on a prayer rant! Nope, just how the words came down on this digital drawing board. You could insert almost any word in lieu of "Prayer" and sell the sticker to almost anyone... Insubordination, Freebasing, Random Acts of Violence (brainstorming, sorry). How about adding a little mystique to this, eh? How about: "Prayer - Cool or Not, Kids Are Doing It"
"Protected By Angels" - I see a lot of polytheistic, well-intentioned Americans with this one on their tails; but, the error here is that Lucifer was an angel, those thrown out of Heaven with him were angels, and all those who were banished to Earth are known as fallen angels. Better if we said: "Entertaining Angels Unaware" or even "LORD, Send Your Angels Before I Need Them"
"Proud To Be A Christian" - Pride and Arrogance in a Christian? May it never be. It sounds like a throw-back to the days of the Sadducees and Pharisees. Perhaps to say "Unworthy To Be A Christian" or "Humbled To Be Called Christ-Like" would be more God-honoring?
"Relax, God is in Control (Proverbs 3:5)" - Let's not work cause God is gonna take care of us, right? "Come to Christ and life's good - kick back, take your shoes off and knock it neutral." Ah... nah. Let's be blunt, if anything, life following Christ is HARDER than anything else we've EVER done. If we're going to be crystal clear with the commuting public, we'd say, "God Is Still In Control, Buckle Up!" or "Christians Aren't Called To Relax, They're Called To Service"
Well, there's my cheesy chunk of change on the matter, and a lot off my gray matter to boot! So, after giving both proverbial barrels, momentarily glowing and steaming of burnt powder... it's time to wind down with some mental CLP and light maintenance on the carpal tunnel. Till we enjoin brain cells once again, MMLIA
Alright, let's get to work on some of these! I particularly like "Holy Spirit on Board-Better Hope I am Listening!"
ReplyDeleteI saw another one recently that I could display "Lord, keep one hand on my shoulder and the other hand over my mouth!" Can I get an AMEN, please?!?