By convention, things in the South are slow to change. Amen and amen.
However, that's a blade that cuts both ways... and I know ALL about cutting oneself (rabbit trail: just because it says "Safety Razor" doesn't mean it is - as the beagle bays at the child gate, quite certain that I have inflicted a series of mortal wounds to my face).
On one hand, the pace at which things change in the South usually means that the sense and sensibility of day-to-day convention is not lost on those dealing with us Southerners. Making a deal where both parties could - for all intents and purposes - ratify with a handshake, nowadays, takes a lawyer (another blog, for sure - sorry Johnny - love you, Cus).
And then, on the other hand, it reinforces several stereotypes about "Southerners" altogether: beat-up trucks, hound dogs, guns, wearing ball caps, using antiquated terms (i.e. honey, dear, sweetie, sugar, ma'am, sir, etc.) and taking worship to a whole new level (e.g. by putting on our best and arriving early, ready to cheer... never mind, that's another blog). Yes, I meant to be facetious - that and sarcasm are the two distinct dialects of the English language in our culture.
Now, I could tout ALL the wondrous reasons why being, living and breathing in the South (humidity aside, cough... cough) are leaps and bounds better than life in a gob of other places where one may hang one's proverbial hat - but, I won't. Instead, fix your gaze on the following - my top three pet peeves regarding "Southern Convention":
"I'll be there if I can."
Okay, if I had a dollar for every time I heard THAT one tossed out - like a "stupid grenade" - I'd be able to buy the buses that K-12 education needs in this state (Education Lottery blog on the horizon folks, stay tuned). Part of me wants to say, "If you can WHAT - tell time, have nothing else more interesting to do, have a normal bowel movement?" What happened to folks who had the presence of mind to write down events on a paper calendar? Who moved other "wishful" things on/off the calendar date(s) to accommodate things that REALLY matter? Some things to consider the next time you feel compelled to offer up that patent answer...
"But above all, my Brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth... but let your 'yes' be yes and your 'no' be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation." (Jas.5.12.esv)
"Do or do not. There is no try." (Yoda, Star Wars Episode 5, 1980)
"Oh, just bless their heart."
Really? That "code" has been broken for a while now and yet I STILL hear it batted around - and most using this colloquialism aren't Christians taking prayer requests, my Brothers and Sisters. Knowhutahmean, Vern? Let's all say what this really means, all together know... "The speaker thinks this person is an idiot." Daddy always told me that you shouldn't be surprised what you catch, given the bait you use. In this regard, it baits others to enjoin in gossip. Yep, I said it... just laid it flat-on-out-there: GOSSIP. Good rule-of-thumb: if they're telling you about someone who's not in the room... what happens when you leave the room? Hmm. How about concentrating to be a bit more "positive and family-friendly"...
"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." (Heb.10.24-25.esv)
"People always mean well. They cluck their thick tongues, and shake their heads and suggest, oh, so very delicately!" (Norman Bates, Psycho, 1960)
"You know how they are - they didn't mean anything by it."
That's a load... of bricks. A load of bricks dropped from the second story window on the unsuspecting victim's head, figuratively of course. This heinous example of rudeness is either demonstrated by or towards a Southerner. The take away - for my friends who are "mathematically challenged", paints a picture (you're welcome, Sarrah) where the recipient (victim) should be the one apologizing to the brick-layer. So, which is it - "high road" or "low road"?
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. " (Eph.4.29.esv)
Sarah: You're the Goblin King! I want my brother back, please, if it's all the same.
Jareth: What's said is said.
Sarah: But, I didn't mean it.
Jareth: Oh, you didn't? (Labyrinth, 1986)
We have First Amendment rights granted by the Constitutional Convention - that's a given if you're a citizen of these "United States" - so there's really no changing what people can or cannot say (for the most part anyways... I acknowledge that shouting "Hi, Jack!" in the airport terminal would not be the most clever use of my afternoon in a security office, but I digress).
Magic wands and wispy potions of coercion aside - if I could have the LORD grant one last request right up before this shell is vacated, it be that everyone had to be honest, open and transparent for one month. Can you imagine what would happen in the General Assembly and up yonder in Washington D.C. (a.k.a. "Castle Conundrum" or "the Puzzle Palace")?
I now declare this convention is adjourned. MMLIA
However, that's a blade that cuts both ways... and I know ALL about cutting oneself (rabbit trail: just because it says "Safety Razor" doesn't mean it is - as the beagle bays at the child gate, quite certain that I have inflicted a series of mortal wounds to my face).
On one hand, the pace at which things change in the South usually means that the sense and sensibility of day-to-day convention is not lost on those dealing with us Southerners. Making a deal where both parties could - for all intents and purposes - ratify with a handshake, nowadays, takes a lawyer (another blog, for sure - sorry Johnny - love you, Cus).
And then, on the other hand, it reinforces several stereotypes about "Southerners" altogether: beat-up trucks, hound dogs, guns, wearing ball caps, using antiquated terms (i.e. honey, dear, sweetie, sugar, ma'am, sir, etc.) and taking worship to a whole new level (e.g. by putting on our best and arriving early, ready to cheer... never mind, that's another blog). Yes, I meant to be facetious - that and sarcasm are the two distinct dialects of the English language in our culture.
Now, I could tout ALL the wondrous reasons why being, living and breathing in the South (humidity aside, cough... cough) are leaps and bounds better than life in a gob of other places where one may hang one's proverbial hat - but, I won't. Instead, fix your gaze on the following - my top three pet peeves regarding "Southern Convention":
"I'll be there if I can."
Okay, if I had a dollar for every time I heard THAT one tossed out - like a "stupid grenade" - I'd be able to buy the buses that K-12 education needs in this state (Education Lottery blog on the horizon folks, stay tuned). Part of me wants to say, "If you can WHAT - tell time, have nothing else more interesting to do, have a normal bowel movement?" What happened to folks who had the presence of mind to write down events on a paper calendar? Who moved other "wishful" things on/off the calendar date(s) to accommodate things that REALLY matter? Some things to consider the next time you feel compelled to offer up that patent answer...
"But above all, my Brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth... but let your 'yes' be yes and your 'no' be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation." (Jas.5.12.esv)
"Do or do not. There is no try." (Yoda, Star Wars Episode 5, 1980)
"Oh, just bless their heart."
Really? That "code" has been broken for a while now and yet I STILL hear it batted around - and most using this colloquialism aren't Christians taking prayer requests, my Brothers and Sisters. Knowhutahmean, Vern? Let's all say what this really means, all together know... "The speaker thinks this person is an idiot." Daddy always told me that you shouldn't be surprised what you catch, given the bait you use. In this regard, it baits others to enjoin in gossip. Yep, I said it... just laid it flat-on-out-there: GOSSIP. Good rule-of-thumb: if they're telling you about someone who's not in the room... what happens when you leave the room? Hmm. How about concentrating to be a bit more "positive and family-friendly"...
"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." (Heb.10.24-25.esv)
"People always mean well. They cluck their thick tongues, and shake their heads and suggest, oh, so very delicately!" (Norman Bates, Psycho, 1960)
"You know how they are - they didn't mean anything by it."
That's a load... of bricks. A load of bricks dropped from the second story window on the unsuspecting victim's head, figuratively of course. This heinous example of rudeness is either demonstrated by or towards a Southerner. The take away - for my friends who are "mathematically challenged", paints a picture (you're welcome, Sarrah) where the recipient (victim) should be the one apologizing to the brick-layer. So, which is it - "high road" or "low road"?
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. " (Eph.4.29.esv)
Sarah: You're the Goblin King! I want my brother back, please, if it's all the same.
Jareth: What's said is said.
Sarah: But, I didn't mean it.
Jareth: Oh, you didn't? (Labyrinth, 1986)
We have First Amendment rights granted by the Constitutional Convention - that's a given if you're a citizen of these "United States" - so there's really no changing what people can or cannot say (for the most part anyways... I acknowledge that shouting "Hi, Jack!" in the airport terminal would not be the most clever use of my afternoon in a security office, but I digress).
Magic wands and wispy potions of coercion aside - if I could have the LORD grant one last request right up before this shell is vacated, it be that everyone had to be honest, open and transparent for one month. Can you imagine what would happen in the General Assembly and up yonder in Washington D.C. (a.k.a. "Castle Conundrum" or "the Puzzle Palace")?
I now declare this convention is adjourned. MMLIA
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