Never Work with Animals or Children

There was a man - who predates a lot of you, dear readers - back in the earlier part of the 20th century, who spoke his mind and didn't mind speaking. Enter... W.C. Fields.  

Although his panache for making light of... well, EVERYTHING... kept him in demand for a couple of decades, this wisdom (no, I didn't stutter) of what he had to say just emboldened some to use him as an object lesson... sorta like what I'm hoping no one reading here (now) is thinking.

While certainly not altruistic, W.C. Fields selflessly got me considering both animals and children - generally speaking, what he (personally) had against both; but, specifically, what have I learned from both... that being the "other" working title for this post:

Raising my children has taught me how to put down my dogs.

Now, before anyone goes to speed-dialing the ASPCA, PETA and these other namby-pamby collaborative nut-houses, consider the following:

1) Children are worth more (in my eyes) than Animals
2) Animals are property, not Children (but the cheap labor for their first 18 years was GREAT)
3) Children have redeemable souls, Animals do not. (And that's as close to an eternal argument that I'm going to get with anyone who doesn't know the Bible.)

I've heard more clever ones - from others, like... "My children? MY problem. My animals? MY problem. Your children or animals? I have two acres, a shovel and a bag of lye..." Okay, that was a little "dark".

Any-who... so, what have I learned? Let me share the gospel...

1) My Children grew up and sometimes acted like they're four. Dogs never grow up and continue to act like a four-year-old Child.

2) My Children were made to share. Dogs will share to humor the authority, as long as that authority is watching.

3) With my Children - "no" meant "no". With Dogs, "no" means (either) "not now" or "go find 'Momma' and get a 'yes' from her".

4) With Children, at times, you're working around them having the "attention span of a firefly". With Dogs, constantly, there is no attention span (unless food is present).

5) My Children waited patiently for the things most important to them. Dogs can impatiently interrupt the things most important to you (e.g. sleep, meal, personal hygiene).

6) My Children - as well-behaved as they were - were often "seen" but not entirely "heard". Dogs - at any time - will be "heard" before they're "seen"... especially at 5:10 a.m., Monday through Friday.

My take-away? Children can change - so, there's always hope (even for adult children); but, Dogs... not so much so - creatures of habit and all. Life can change Children, but not Dogs; and, (physical) death, changes us all.

So, as I finish writing, I tip my proverbial hat at the late Mr. Fields, who (prior to his death) said this rather poignant thing: "When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty." MMLIA